Mother's Day Out Update

Jonathan's teacher is a sweet older lady that somehow managed to get Jonathan to nap OVER AN HOUR on a mat on the floor.  She asked me all the questions when I walked in as she went through his bag to make sure she had everything she'd need to watch my son.  I was instantly at ease. I did cry as I left and was kind of a mess all day (staring at my cell phone every five seconds to check the time and make sure the church hadn't called) but when Jonathan went in, he, as usual, completely forgot I was there.  They told me he had a blast and the most whimpering they'd heard out of him was the bit he did as I carried him out the door.  

I carried two fire extinguishers downtown to have them inspected, spent a good hour at Wal Mart looking for birthday party items, ate lunch with Jason at home, cleaned that up and cleaned a bathroom.  Tomorrow's list - quick trip to the grocery store, homemade deodorant and more birthday planning.

Not only did he have his first day at "play school" (I call it that because Caillou goes to play school and I thought he'd be more open to the idea if his favorite cartoon character did it too.  :o)) yesterday, he spent over an hour at a base function with his Daddy.  He is such an extrovert!  He was really tired when he got home, but he still managed to destroy the living room again before bed.  Boys!  :o)

We're in the thick of potty training for the second time.  That's a long story, but I will say, this is much harder at age two than it was at age one.  Wish I'd just gone with my gut and stuck it out at age one.  I think the cloth diapers are the difference.  Now that I've got him in those almost exclusively again, we're meeting with more success.  We have a stack of big boy undies waiting until Jonathan gets a bit better about telling us when he needs to go, but we're seeing improvement every day.  A good friend told me that, next to the newborn stage, potty training is the hardest.  I can attest to that.  I have been on the bathroom floor reading books for at least two hours this morning at Jonathan's insistence.  He does not like to go in there without leaving something and, by golly, if we have to wait all day, he's going to leave something!  He's determined.  I still need to change out of my pjs, wash my face, brush my teeth, etc... etc... and it's 1:30 in the afternoon, much like what I remember from the newborn phase.  Time to hit the shower!  

Help!

Jonathan starts Mother's Day Out tomorrow.  I am undone.  An internal war has waged inside me since this solution first entered my head several months ago.  I really don't want to do this, but then again, I really do.  

Our son is a social butterfly.  He is a VERY active, bright and affectionate almost two-year-old boy.  As soon as Jonathan walks through the doors of the nursery at church, we don't exist.  The same scene plays out on Bible Study days.  At times, although he's so happy to see me at the end of play time, he'd prefer that I step into his domain, meet his friends and watch him play, oh, let's say, another hour or two?  

Mom's shoes on the wrong feet, Daddy's awesome turtle quilt, shorts probably somewhere in the kitchen or living room floor, trying to call Giggie, Grammy, Pappa Jack, Bop or Daddy

Tomorrow, Jonathan will most likely be fine and I will be a wreck.  Jonathan will have a ball playing with kiddos his own age and I'll be staring at my cell phone.  Jonathan will get home and crash.  He will wake to the arrival of his favorite person in the universe -- Daddy!  And all will be right with his world.  There's no end to the "what ifs" that are circulating through my mind as I write.  But, this is where we are.  

Wheels and animals - my favorite things

And so, It's time to thank God that there's a little church just up the way that offers a well-established Mother's Day Out in the summer months.   It's time to thank Him again that I've got quite a store in my little miscellaneous account for just such an expense.  It's time to lose the guilt and let our little fellow enjoy people and practice some of the skills he's learned from his Daddy and me.   

Bread baking day

Here is an article that is helping with my resolve by one of my new favorite authors.  

More bread baking

Her little book, Loving the Little Years (and the Bible), is helping to sustain me day after day.  I am halfway through my second reading.  By the way, the author's name is Rachel Jankovic. 

Here is another article about some issues that I have encountered as a new mom (Some of these are issues in my own heart.).  It spoke to me.  Hopefully it will speak to you too. 

First ice cream cone - Melissa's amazing home made strawberry ice cream recipe.  YUM!

There is a huge part of me that wants to hang on to my boy for dear life.  He still naps in my arms at least twice a week.  I prize those moments.  He's my one and only right now, and may be my one and only forever.  And he's just getting so big!  But I often wonder if I would squelch this precious little extrovert with my introverted self if I kept him with me constantly.  He can't let a neighbor pass without going out to them and shaking a hand or giving a hug. I realize that, although I want all control of this little life, most of the control I think I have is imaginary.  And so - I'm loosening a knot in the apron string and feeling a tremendous tug at the heartstrings.  

  

If this works out, I might actually be able to unpack a pile of boxes that have remained unopened since our move over a year ago.  Some very big projects that have been left with very scraggly ends will get some attention.  I might be able to go to a doctor's appointment or two without asking Jason to take time off from an overwhelming and stressful new job.  I might get the opportunity to mow the lawn or get the vehicles serviced and buy more time for our family in the evenings and on weekends.  Those cheap, old chairs that I really can't believe we still have in our possession might finally end up at Goodwill.  I might just be refreshed enough to enjoy our little "Jonathan-gift" more than ever before.   

And...

 I'll be praying hard every moment and listening for my phone.