Happy Birthday, Jonathan Clark!

 Dear Sweet Jonathan --

I cannot believe it has been four years since I first held you in my arms.  When you were brand new, I had hours and hours to sit and stare into your beautiful face.  I wondered then, as I do now, who you were and what you would reveal to us as you began to learn to share your thoughts and dreams.  As your personality continues to emerge, this is what I've become delighted to learn...

You are a collector.  You have a collection of favorite toys under your pillow at all times.  You have collections of bugs and bug parts scattered on both porches, in the garage and in a few places inside the house.  You keep a collection of rocks, fossils, lizard tails, plants, seeds and berries in various places as well.  You delight in the classification of creation.  You see so much beauty in what the rest of us relegate to the "ordinary".  You look in awe at the patterns of leaves and bark on a tree, and the variety of bugs and birds who find shelter there.  A stray feather can occupy your thoughts for hours.  Your favorite books are field guides to insects, flowers, birds, animals and even the night sky.  Just today you put words to your imagination and declared that "There are mountain lions sleeping today in those hills, Mommy!" as we drove home from the campsite.  

You are curious.  You ask some of the most amazing questions.  Mommy has such a hard time answering sometimes, but she always makes an effort.  If ever I questioned that an infinity awaits us, I don't anymore.  I can see eternity so clearly in your eyes.  

I am so thankful for our faith.  Much of what I cannot explain to you can be found in God's Word.  I don't have to go far to find you an answer.  As a person who is very sensory, I remember finding it hard to swallow some of those explanations as a child.  I needed to see and experience for myself.  I hope that, although I see that same quality in you, you will find comfort in His Creation and His Word throughout your life.  

You are compassionate.  Jonathan, you have such a sweet, tender heart!  You are rough and tumble.  You are ALL BOY!   But when you notice that someone looks left out, sad or scared, you are the first to find a way to cheer that someone up.  Son, this is one of the things that makes me most proud of you.  You encourage those around you. When your little sister meets a milestone, you are her biggest cheerleader - her most precious fan.  It's as if you realize already that you are a big key to her development, and you want to do your part - but you do it because you have a big, big love in your heart.  You aren't devoid of envy, but are often able, even as a four-year-old, to lay it aside to love on someone else.    

The feeling that I cannot contain all the love I have for you just grows.  I thought it was overwhelming on the day you were born, but it just becomes bigger and bigger as the days, weeks, months and years go by.  I often ask our Lord how I can help you find your calling and find the courage to live your dreams.  I hope that, in some way, you will find that unique calling in the service of others.  I thank God that He, in his infinite Love and Mercy, allowed me the privilege to be your mother.  

Happy Birthday My Love --

Mama

Happy Birthday Melanie Anne!

Dear Melanie --

It has been nearly a year since we said our first hellos.  You were wearing a little black, white and yellow outfit adorned with sunflowers and bees.  Mommy thought that was a good omen.  Yellow is a favorite color, and Mommy's kitchen is full of sunflowers and bees!  You were hiding in a corner - something you still do on occasion when you're apprehensive about a situation.  Daddy drew you out with a funny helicopter that flew way up to the ceiling in the therapy room at the group home where you were living.  We ate at Burger King and took you back home.  Two days later you were ours. 

 

You have adapted well to a crazy and extremely imperfect Mama and Daddy whose parenting anxiety is painfully obvious.  You have endured more challenges to your health this year with amazing tenacity.  You have a seemingly inexhaustible endurance for pain.  You are so strong.  You are an overcomer.  Yet you are such a tiny thing.  You weighed 17 pounds when we met you and we still struggle to keep you above 20 pounds.  

I love to watch you consider an insect or look at the sky.  It is so new to you.  Creation is so vivid and wondrous through those gigantic, soulful eyes.  You must be "outside!"  You love music and, at least to this proud and probably only slightly biased Mama, it sounds as if you can already follow a melody line with your voice.  You love to talk on your play phones and have imaginary conversations with Grammy, Giggie, Papa Jack, Bop and Blossom (Grammy's senile, deaf & blind sheltie).   You are so fun to dress!  You love shoes so much that, if Mama didn't forbid it here and there, you'd be in a different pair every half hour.   You are almost always, "hungrin".  

It has been a fantastic year.  You have experienced a lot of firsts!  We carved pumpkins and had Trick-or-Treating for Halloween.  We enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas at Grammy & Papa Jack's.  Easter egg hunts were a BIG hit with you.  You went on a long camping trip to see Giggie, Bop, Uncle Jeremy, Aunt Stephanie & Cousin Kirbie.  You've been fishing and frog hunting, and you've learned to torture bugs and lizards just like your big brother.  Tomorrow there will be a cake just for you and a big sack full of presents.   

We have all grown up a lot this year.  Growing up can be painful.  Mama & Daddy have made a lot of mistakes.  At times, we've unintentionally compared you to an older brother who has never known your struggles.  At other times, we've not given you or your brother the priority you deserved.  Often, we've expected a whole lot more than you could give.  We're learning too, and by some extraordinary grace, you're loving us through that learning.  Mama is so overwhelmed and frustrated at times only to receive a hug and a heartfelt "I miss you" (We think you mean "I love you.") in return.  What we hope to accomplish, as we learn and grow ourselves, is to end the overwhelming struggles you've experienced.  We hope those normalize into the more common struggles of a child who has a deep knowledge that she is loved unconditionally and that she was chosen.  We also hope that unconditional love will help you face the struggles that remain in life with grace and faith.  The crazy thing about this whole gig... we're learning all this unconditional love from you!  

You were chosen, Melanie.  We didn't quite know what that meant when we first laid eyes on you.  We didn't know what it all meant when we first laid eyes on big brother Jonathan either.  The path is never clearly charted.  There are always unexpected twists and turns - brambles and briars.  But there are waterfalls, flowers, and scenes to take your breath away.  There are summits that make the rigorous climbs completely worth the undertaking!   You are so worth it baby girl.  You are so beautiful.  You are ours.  We love you.  Happy third birthday Melanie Anne!  

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves."   

Love, 

Mama