Beautiful on the Inside...

There are so many reasons why I love and miss Elizabeth City, North Carolina. There's no shopping to speak of within a 70-mile radius, the only traffic you encounter is caused by farming implements in spring and fall, no one is in a hurry... most notably the farmers driving the farming implements, people just "drop in" to say "Hi!",(Okay, so those last two really annoyed me when we first moved, but it's something I came to admire the longer we lived there.) and there are very few "pretty" people.

Please don't mistake my meaning. There are some very beautiful men and women who live in that part of the country, but they don't need external "help" to be beautiful. For example, my North Carolina friends Christi, Catherine, Kristi, Melissa, Lisa and Anna are some of THE most beautiful women I've ever known, but they don't carry designer handbags or drive expensive cars. As far as I know, their hair is the color God meant it to be, and they aren't in for manicures, pedicures and facials every week. They don't mind letting you know that they struggle and struggle and struggle just like everyone else on the planet.

They are authentic. They are genuine. They are real.

I feel a little out of place living just over the hill from a housing development called "The Dominion," populated by at least one major country star and a handful of the San Antonio Spurs. We live just a few miles from a Nordstrom Rack, an Ann Taylor, a Pottery Barn and a multitude of day spas. I absolutely LOVE Ann Taylor and Pottery Barn, but I learned, living at least an hour from Ann Taylor, that I really can live without Ann Taylor. Walking into the market in an old pair of Levi's, zero makeup and my hair back in a pony tail, I just don't quite feel like I belong here anymore. For the first time in a long time, I'm aware of a subtle transformation that's taken place in my heart. I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with trying to look your best and there's absolutely nothing wrong with shopping at Nordstrom Rack, Pottery Barn or Ann Taylor.

Getting a manicure, pedicure and getting your hair dyed/ highlighted/ whatever is extremely relaxing and can be fulfilling. It's just that I've finally come to grips with a freedom that I didn't know existed. I don't need to look my best to look someone in the face and flash a big smile. I don't need to wear make up and "do" my hair to carry on a conversation with a total stranger. I can be confident in a ball cap, decade old fashion and crummy tennis shoes. I am much much more than the sum of my acne scars, graying hair and crows feet.

Here's an example of the kind of inner beauty to which I aspire. Less than a month before we moved, I "dropped in" on my friend Melissa (Sorry Melissa, but I've got to pick on you for a minute.). You learn the art of "just dropping in" after living in Elizabeth City a year or so. This girl is sold out on God... doing her best to be the mom and wife He's called her to be. She gardens, keeps chickens, quilts, sews, stamps, cans, makes her own yogurt and bakes bread from freshly-milled grain every week. At the end of her bread-baking day, after home-schooling her kids and completing all of the daily tasks in her well-ordered, sun-shiny home, she still looked radiant... absolutely beautiful in fact. Melissa is well-endowed with external beauty. But what I saw that day radiated from within. That's become my goal. With all the fatigue educating three

children at home can bring, at the end of the day, she still had a supernatural energy to engage me in happy chatter while milling a fresh bag of wheat for me... sending me home with a bag of cookies she'd just pulled out of the oven. It's completely obvious that He occupies her heart.

Sometimes I wonder if scars, fat rolls around the middle, crows feet, laugh lines, gray hair, bald spots and the multitude of other imperfections we all desperately try to hide are really little testimonies that our Lord would prefer we share with the world... testimonies to a life well and fully lived... testimonies that tell the world we're just like everyone else. We're human. We're approachable because it's pretty obvious we've been there, wherever "there" is. The beauty of an inner life rooted in Him shines so brightly through outer evidence of suffering, shame and frustration, that we draw people who need to hear the Good News we have to share.

I removed myself from facebook today. A long time ago, I became aware of this smallish part of myself that's allowed facebook to make me want to compete against some ideal that doesn't really exist except as a facade. I'm one of those people that cannot ignore a temptation. The temptation must be removed before I can achieve mastery over it. We all dream a dream of a life we wish we lived. It finally occurred to me; I'd come closer to living that life if I committed the time I've spent comparing myself to my "friends" on facebook to actually implementing some of the disciplines that are missing in my life. What if I turned my gaze more completely on Him and ignored the daily "newsfeed." Would I find that I'm more content with and more ready to utilize

the gifts He's given specifically to me? It's a theory I'm ready to test.

So thanks Melissa, Kristi, Christi, Lisa, Catherine and Anna. Thanks for being the examples I've needed to live more authentically. Thank you, Lord, for orchestrating our meeting. And thank you Elizabeth City, North Carolina. I'd say I wish I'd been able to live there for the rest of my life, but, unfortunately, I rarely realize what I've gleaned from living in a place until I'm forced to reflect on it from some other place... far, far away.

Here's an exciting addition to this post. I'm an aunt again! Nora Lynn Womack is here - 9 lbs. 9 ozs., born at 9:30 pm today! She's a beauty and we can't wait to meet her.