Chosen

Just a couple hours ago, we watched our first set of overnight company leave the driveway en route to the deep south. Almost eleven years ago, Pastor Keith led Jason and me through our marriage vows. That was a little over a year after we met at events surrounding his own nuptials. 

We haven't visited since EK was about four or five, AC was three or four and Jonathan was just walking. Keith and Melissa have welcomed two more children into their family since then. We welcomed Melanie into ours.

Our kids were delirious with excitement yesterday as they anticipated the arrival of playmates. This visit, however, required a proactive conversation with our children. EK has suffered with severe autism since she was approximately three. EK communicates with her eyes, guttural noises and bangs. She is beautiful and broken, just like the rest of us. Her language is not one that we have the ability to understand.

The kids reacted well to each other and enjoyed playing together. Our kids were so excited to have overnight guests (and chocolate chip brownies). 

As usual, I had a lot of good intentions surrounding this visit. Some of them were realized and others were not. After all was quiet and I was climbing into bed, I realized that there was another pillow and blanket sitting in our room that I had neglected to put downstairs for our guests. I also forgot to pick up sparklers for the kiddos. We had fireworks enough though in the post-rain fire-fly show out back. I will never forget the joy I saw in those faces that night... or all those adorable giggles.  

At one point, Melissa and I had a conversation about children and sanctification. And I agree with my whole heart. Having children will sanctify a parent if the parent is up for taking the lesson. However, a good friend of mine reminded me lately that it's not all just about sanctification. We didn't get any further with that conversation (That's kind of how it goes when you've got little kids. All those great conversations that get started but fizzle before you get to the meat of the matter...), but I've thought long and hard on the meaning of the very poignant statement she made that day.

Having a child with autism or medical problems or a very strong will could just mean that we're chosen. And, that child is chosen right along with us. Dealing with a loved one who is terminally ill, mentally ill or forever disabled most likely does not feel like an honor to anyone living that reality. But would He give that task to just anyone? I wonder.

I certainly don't have the answers. But I do know that, when I was a teacher, I gave the difficult tasks to the students I felt confident would complete them well. The toughest lessons went to those who would take them to heart and carry them to some greater fruition. If we bear the Image, no matter how damaged it might be, could it be possible there are some answers in our own delegation of tasks to our children, our students, our subordinates at work?

As I watched Keith and Melissa care for their oldest child, I saw something you don't get to see all that often. I witnessed overwhelming patience and peace in a less-than-peaceful situation. The more shocking thing... the thing that was completely lacking... not even a hint of the tiniest mark of self-pity.

Initially, I mourned the fact that sweet, beautiful EK, although trying desperately to be heard, could not be understood by anyone. How frustrating must it be to not be able to communicate your wants and needs? How easily I forget... He hears her. He knows her language. He made her. The God who sees, the God who heals, the Great Creator...He knows this little girl intimately. He knows her parents and her siblings and He is ministering to their hearts at every moment. He honored them with her, and she is honored with them. 

So I will continue to pray for EK's healing. But what I will pray, even more, is for a grace that will allow our friends to continue to stand firm because I feel, almost certainly, that they were not afflicted, but chosen.