Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!

Sweet Jonathan, 

I never managed to get a post written for your birthday, and that fact has been nagging at me for over six months! Not to make excuses, but life is certainly busy, and MUCH more interesting with you in it! The partial reason that I have not written down my feelings and observations surrounding this season in your life is that I struggle to understand them. The only way for your mama to truly get to the heart of anything is to find a quiet place to think with a journal in my lap and a pen in my hand. That's a difficult thing to do with you in our home. And as much as I crave a few quiet moments to myself, I crave time spent with you all the more, precious boy.

You, however, live out loud! You are constantly bouncing ideas and thoughts off anyone who will listen. You enter a room and within five minutes you've made six new friends.  I stand in awe as I watch you work a crowd. It's spellbinding and wonderful and frightening all at the same time.

See, Buddy, you stretch me in so many ways. Your mama had hit the wall on her natural ability to socialize by the time church ended yesterday. After lunch mama was fully in "Philippians 4:13 mode" (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.). You refused to go down for choir practice because you had no desire to stand in front of the church and sing in the Christmas Eve service, but you were devastated when I told you that our family would not be caroling with the church in the surrounding neighborhoods that night. How could I deny a kiddo that would rather take the Gospel beyond the walls of our church? So off we went...you and me... and Philippians 4:13.

Mama read an interesting book review recently. The title went something like Introverts in the Church, and the review started with something like, "Introverts are often marginalized in church social circles." I had to laugh out loud as soon as that phrase fell under my eyes. Introverts marginalize themselves! No one has to do it for us! Hysterical. I'm anxious for you to grow up, read this and know it for the joke that it is. But I'm also anxious for you to stay the little boy that gets up at 5:30 am to snuggle into my lap while I'm trying to find quiet time to read and write in my journal.  I want you to remain the boy that lingers over a trail eyeing and touching every bug, bird nest, leaf, flower and rock within your gaze... the golden-headed whirlwind with few inhibitions chasing the birds in the yard and playing freeze-tag with friends.  

I love that you are you. I love that you do not take after your timid mama. I love that you force me beyond the comfortable place where I lounge and languish spiritually. You have inherited some irresistible force, a gift from your Father in heaven, and I want you to have as many opportunities as possible to think out loud and be with people as possible. At age seven, there's still a lot to be fine-tuned. I can say the same about myself at forty-three. But I'm praying the Lord will take all these passions and pursuits... all these loves... and turn them toward Himself.  No matter how we feel about it, no matter how introverted or extroverted our natural man has the tendency to be, the command is to "Go!" (Mark 16:15, Matthew 10:7, Luke 9:2, Luke 9:60, Acts 5:20). Oh for grace to raise you up into Him, to continue to allow Him to expand in me, and to let you follow that command when the time comes. Please grant it Lord.