Friday, December 20, 2019

Another one on the other blog...

There are seasons when I must write, if that makes sense... just like there are seasons when I must play the piano or spend all night playing my guitar really badly. Sleep will not come when I need to process and create, especially in seasons where I'm more social than I can really comfortably handle and there's no opportunity to hide out. Before I had children, I'd forget to eat, sometimes for entire days, while I was working at making big ideas come to fruition. Now I have children to remind me to stay regulated, at least in that area. :o)

For this big time introvert, who is so uncomfortable with that attribute that I tend to be a big poser because I (not-so-secretly) wish I could be super cool like all the extroverts, when I hit a wall, I have to get all the knots untangled before I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and extrovert again.

At least I get to be creative while I'm nursing my bruises. :o) I just have to do it in the middle of the night, which is not all that ideal.

These times are very inopportune. When this happens, it means I'm way too busy, but I have to make time to write or my "mind slips a little sideways" (I think that last phrase is a quote from Enchanted April. I don't want to take credit for it since it's definitely not mine, but it's such a tidy little phrase that conveys exactly what I feel when I don't make time to write.).

My journal has been getting a lot more action lately. I don't know why, but I struggle with this blogging thing. My mind goes to phrases like,

"Phf. It's all already been said. What do you have to contribute?"

"Everyone's going to misunderstand you."

"You're going to offend the whole world and isolate yourself to a point that even you won't be comfortable with."

And yet, I can't stop. Something in me needs to write things out and organize words on the outside of my mind. 

So if you're reading, thank you. If you wanna talk about it, great. I'm just not very good at verbalizing much unless I've thought about it for a good long while or taken the time to write something down. I'm one of those people that sends text and messenger messages that are way too long because it's just how I roll. And when I'm with you physically I'm either so distracted or anxious or sleep-deprived I can't string three words together. I apologize. I know it's annoying. :o)

Anyway... new on the other blog (that I've not yet publicized or monetized because I'm not really all that good with that kind of mundane minutia) is a post that's my take on a fantastic sermon from last week. This stuff takes such a long time to stew, I can't put it in real time. Anyway, I haven't slept much in several weeks, so I'll stop writing and go wrap something. Thanks for reading. Forgive me if I come across completely offensive. That's not my intention. I just need to get this out so I can sleep.

Look Up


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