Re-posting a short little something I wrote for Melanie on her birthday several years ago. I put it up on the other blog because, eventually, I hope to put everything over there. I needed to clean that post up because I want to save it for her, and I wanted to add her pink cosmos to the featured image at the top of the post. Those pink flowers volunteer somewhere in our garden every year since she and I planted them in a portion of a bed in our veggie garden.
She loves pink. :o) And we love her.
The last couple weeks we've encountered a resurgence of little symptoms of past trauma in her. Possibly, she's picking up on our anxiety over the current crisis in our world and our anxiety over her and her brother. She's also been to the doctor multiple times for another mysterious health situation that we pray will resolve itself before long.
Despite all the hardship she's faced in her short life, she's been a HUGE example to me of how to face adversity with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. When I grow up, I want to be like my daughter.
The link is below.
A Little Volunteer
Sunday, May 24, 2020
Monday, May 04, 2020
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Friday, April 17, 2020
Tuesday, April 14, 2020
Cloudy with a Chance of Insight
If you're reading, I'd like to ask for your help.
I'm learning to really hate this blogging bit. It feels a lot like negotiating for a vehicle. Those things seem entirely unrelated, I know. But hitting the publish button and sitting in a salesperson's office at a car dealership are exactly the same thing to my heart. And they produce almost exactly the same amount of indigestion.
I don't know what to do with that, nor with the compelling need to write. I really don't want any of this to be about me or my feelings. I want the words that come to be a direct result of prayer. I want God to fill the page. Specifically, I need to know where the writing should find its focus... or if I should write at all.
After last night's 2.5 hours of sleep, I woke to this. "My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches." ~Psalm 63:5-6
Again, I don't know what to do with any of this. Putting it out there feels really weird/off/hard to me. If you feel compelled to share, the link is below. I'm good with that. Right now, however, I'm personally limiting the people I share this with to the established list on this blog and a couple other people who have already agreed in prayer with me over all this. I don't want this to be about self-promotion (and for some reason it feels that way), but I also don't want to place limits on the way the Lord moves the hearts of others.
Thank you!
:o) Jackie
Cloudy with a Chance of Insight
I'm learning to really hate this blogging bit. It feels a lot like negotiating for a vehicle. Those things seem entirely unrelated, I know. But hitting the publish button and sitting in a salesperson's office at a car dealership are exactly the same thing to my heart. And they produce almost exactly the same amount of indigestion.
I don't know what to do with that, nor with the compelling need to write. I really don't want any of this to be about me or my feelings. I want the words that come to be a direct result of prayer. I want God to fill the page. Specifically, I need to know where the writing should find its focus... or if I should write at all.
After last night's 2.5 hours of sleep, I woke to this. "My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches." ~Psalm 63:5-6
Again, I don't know what to do with any of this. Putting it out there feels really weird/off/hard to me. If you feel compelled to share, the link is below. I'm good with that. Right now, however, I'm personally limiting the people I share this with to the established list on this blog and a couple other people who have already agreed in prayer with me over all this. I don't want this to be about self-promotion (and for some reason it feels that way), but I also don't want to place limits on the way the Lord moves the hearts of others.
Thank you!
:o) Jackie
Cloudy with a Chance of Insight
Friday, April 10, 2020
A Heart's Tenebrae
I'm placing an old post on the newer blog. I've had the words in my mind again for some time, but have wrestled with re-posting it. As much as I tend to edit myself, I can't bring myself to do much to this one. It was one of those rare moments when the "flash" came at almost the exact moment I could actually capture it and give it the form of words on the page. I haven't decided whether or not I'll post this to Facebook, but you're welcome to share if you wish.
A Heart's Tenebrae
A Heart's Tenebrae
Sunday, March 29, 2020
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Fake It Till You Make It: Art, Music, and Crafting at Home
I'm hoping this will be the beginning of a short series on the other blog. Read or ignore. No worries! Hope it's helpful if you do choose to read! Love, Jackie
Fake It Till You Make It: Art, Music, and Crafting at Home
Fake It Till You Make It: Art, Music, and Crafting at Home
Saturday, February 08, 2020
Tuesday, February 04, 2020
Brightness and Shadow
I'm grieving and processing tonight so that hopefully I'll be able to mostly function for my family tomorrow. Read or ignore. I won't be checking up. 😊
There's absolutely nothing that's particularly poignant here... just a lot of sentiment and heartache. There's no concern that people will forget Daniel Maberry anytime soon, so my aim isn't really to memorialize him here, but, even though I talk a bit about pride in the post, there's definitely some pride in my heart over the fact that I got to be good friends for a while with this good man whose heroes were Jesus Christ and Tom Landry.
When I know someone is a believer, I refuse to talk about them in past tense after they've gone on. Our brother is still very much alive... just hanging out in a place we can't be quite yet. Praise be to our Great God for that reality. If those statements confuse you and you want to know more, I'd love to talk with you about it!
Brightness and Shadow
There's absolutely nothing that's particularly poignant here... just a lot of sentiment and heartache. There's no concern that people will forget Daniel Maberry anytime soon, so my aim isn't really to memorialize him here, but, even though I talk a bit about pride in the post, there's definitely some pride in my heart over the fact that I got to be good friends for a while with this good man whose heroes were Jesus Christ and Tom Landry.
When I know someone is a believer, I refuse to talk about them in past tense after they've gone on. Our brother is still very much alive... just hanging out in a place we can't be quite yet. Praise be to our Great God for that reality. If those statements confuse you and you want to know more, I'd love to talk with you about it!
Brightness and Shadow
Thursday, January 09, 2020
Saturday, January 04, 2020
Fresh Semesters
There's another new post on the other blog. I need to update this one with family happenings, but my mind is fully into planning, clean out, and organization mode right now, so I'll leave that for another day. Next up... the sock drawer.
I also added a paragraph to the most recent post "Look Up". It's a paragraph that includes the thoughts that actually generated that post, but since it was 3 am when that post hit the blogosphere, it's not surprising that I managed to completely leave it out. I'm good at that. 😕
Happy New Year!
Fresh Semesters
I also added a paragraph to the most recent post "Look Up". It's a paragraph that includes the thoughts that actually generated that post, but since it was 3 am when that post hit the blogosphere, it's not surprising that I managed to completely leave it out. I'm good at that. 😕
Happy New Year!
Fresh Semesters
Friday, December 20, 2019
Another one on the other blog...
There are seasons when I must write, if that makes sense... just like there are seasons when I must play the piano or spend all night playing my guitar really badly. Sleep will not come when I need to process and create, especially in seasons where I'm more social than I can really comfortably handle and there's no opportunity to hide out. Before I had children, I'd forget to eat, sometimes for entire days, while I was working at making big ideas come to fruition. Now I have children to remind me to stay regulated, at least in that area. :o)
For this big time introvert, who is so uncomfortable with that attribute that I tend to be a big poser because I (not-so-secretly) wish I could be super cool like all the extroverts, when I hit a wall, I have to get all the knots untangled before I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and extrovert again.
At least I get to be creative while I'm nursing my bruises. :o) I just have to do it in the middle of the night, which is not all that ideal.
These times are very inopportune. When this happens, it means I'm way too busy, but I have to make time to write or my "mind slips a little sideways" (I think that last phrase is a quote from Enchanted April. I don't want to take credit for it since it's definitely not mine, but it's such a tidy little phrase that conveys exactly what I feel when I don't make time to write.).
My journal has been getting a lot more action lately. I don't know why, but I struggle with this blogging thing. My mind goes to phrases like,
"Phf. It's all already been said. What do you have to contribute?"
"Everyone's going to misunderstand you."
"You're going to offend the whole world and isolate yourself to a point that even you won't be comfortable with."
And yet, I can't stop. Something in me needs to write things out and organize words on the outside of my mind.
So if you're reading, thank you. If you wanna talk about it, great. I'm just not very good at verbalizing much unless I've thought about it for a good long while or taken the time to write something down. I'm one of those people that sends text and messenger messages that are way too long because it's just how I roll. And when I'm with you physically I'm either so distracted or anxious or sleep-deprived I can't string three words together. I apologize. I know it's annoying. :o)
Anyway... new on the other blog (that I've not yet publicized or monetized because I'm not really all that good with that kind of mundane minutia) is a post that's my take on a fantastic sermon from last week. This stuff takes such a long time to stew, I can't put it in real time. Anyway, I haven't slept much in several weeks, so I'll stop writing and go wrap something. Thanks for reading. Forgive me if I come across completely offensive. That's not my intention. I just need to get this out so I can sleep.
Look Up
For this big time introvert, who is so uncomfortable with that attribute that I tend to be a big poser because I (not-so-secretly) wish I could be super cool like all the extroverts, when I hit a wall, I have to get all the knots untangled before I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and extrovert again.
At least I get to be creative while I'm nursing my bruises. :o) I just have to do it in the middle of the night, which is not all that ideal.
These times are very inopportune. When this happens, it means I'm way too busy, but I have to make time to write or my "mind slips a little sideways" (I think that last phrase is a quote from Enchanted April. I don't want to take credit for it since it's definitely not mine, but it's such a tidy little phrase that conveys exactly what I feel when I don't make time to write.).
My journal has been getting a lot more action lately. I don't know why, but I struggle with this blogging thing. My mind goes to phrases like,
"Phf. It's all already been said. What do you have to contribute?"
"Everyone's going to misunderstand you."
"You're going to offend the whole world and isolate yourself to a point that even you won't be comfortable with."
And yet, I can't stop. Something in me needs to write things out and organize words on the outside of my mind.
So if you're reading, thank you. If you wanna talk about it, great. I'm just not very good at verbalizing much unless I've thought about it for a good long while or taken the time to write something down. I'm one of those people that sends text and messenger messages that are way too long because it's just how I roll. And when I'm with you physically I'm either so distracted or anxious or sleep-deprived I can't string three words together. I apologize. I know it's annoying. :o)
Anyway... new on the other blog (that I've not yet publicized or monetized because I'm not really all that good with that kind of mundane minutia) is a post that's my take on a fantastic sermon from last week. This stuff takes such a long time to stew, I can't put it in real time. Anyway, I haven't slept much in several weeks, so I'll stop writing and go wrap something. Thanks for reading. Forgive me if I come across completely offensive. That's not my intention. I just need to get this out so I can sleep.
Look Up
Thursday, December 19, 2019
New on the other blog...
Because I'm not sleeping much lately...
And I can't find my journal.
It's pretty short. :o) I need to sleep. Hoping I can do that now that this is off my heart.
https://jdeemusings.wordpress.com/2019/12/19/spirit-and-truth/
And I can't find my journal.
It's pretty short. :o) I need to sleep. Hoping I can do that now that this is off my heart.
https://jdeemusings.wordpress.com/2019/12/19/spirit-and-truth/
Thursday, October 03, 2019
New Blog Title
Hey there --
It's been a while. And even though I was really too busy to sit down and write today, I couldn't make myself do much else. Truth be told, I couldn't help myself.
If you're a regular here, "Thank you!" I'd certainly appreciate it if you'd join me as I pray about possibly monetizing the other blog and making it more "public". While that prospect frightens me a bit (Posting to a broader audience makes me feel a little too exposed for my own taste.), I'd like to contribute financially to our little household and family again, and, aside from teaching, this is really the only way I feel I can do that and stay authentic. I'm definitely not a sales person (There's another lengthy and humorous blog post wrapped up in that little statement.).
Here's a post written today to a blog I've kept kind of hidden. It's a little more raw and real I guess. I've renamed it and tried to play around with the formatting a bit. It will take some serious effort for this luddite to navigate the blogosphere, and I am fully open to hearing an emphatic "No." regarding my prayerful petition on this matter. But I'm trying to be open to the possibility that the reason I love to write is because I actually should write. I can be a timid creature, and I'm definitely timid concerning any content I produce. So, again, I'd really appreciate your prayers.
Love,
Jackie
Soccer and Shakespeare
Peter the...
It's been a while. And even though I was really too busy to sit down and write today, I couldn't make myself do much else. Truth be told, I couldn't help myself.
If you're a regular here, "Thank you!" I'd certainly appreciate it if you'd join me as I pray about possibly monetizing the other blog and making it more "public". While that prospect frightens me a bit (Posting to a broader audience makes me feel a little too exposed for my own taste.), I'd like to contribute financially to our little household and family again, and, aside from teaching, this is really the only way I feel I can do that and stay authentic. I'm definitely not a sales person (There's another lengthy and humorous blog post wrapped up in that little statement.).
Here's a post written today to a blog I've kept kind of hidden. It's a little more raw and real I guess. I've renamed it and tried to play around with the formatting a bit. It will take some serious effort for this luddite to navigate the blogosphere, and I am fully open to hearing an emphatic "No." regarding my prayerful petition on this matter. But I'm trying to be open to the possibility that the reason I love to write is because I actually should write. I can be a timid creature, and I'm definitely timid concerning any content I produce. So, again, I'd really appreciate your prayers.
Love,
Jackie
Soccer and Shakespeare
Peter the...
Friday, August 09, 2019
Songs in the Night
I've been sitting at the computer for a while, hunting down in-network rheumatologists, psychiatrists, endocrinologists, and internists. Without a doubt, I'm struggling in a big way right now.
But as I pray for a hedge to protect my heart and mind from the despair and depression that chronic pain and anxiety can typically bring, I'm instantly reminded of a precious friend in Texas. After over a year and a half of battling cancer, he's received more bad news. Typical for this go-getter, he signed up for the catch-all, guaranteed, brutal treatment. It didn't work.
My heart aches for a vibrant and active friend who is stymied tonight with a broken hip, elbow, and shoulder... an incredibly kind, talented, and helpful friend that, I daresay, will struggle a bit with accepting the help she'll need in the coming months.
Another precious soul is at the center of complete chaos, attempting to grow a budding being as a flurry of other precious souls depend on her for nurture and nourishment. I can't even begin to imagine how she feels right now.
While the struggles are unique, the God who presides over each and every moment of this earth's triumphs and tragedies knows exactly what He's up to. He knows each stone and rivulet these tributaries flow over and through to join His river of life. He's got a plan. And while I struggle to understand... while it all feels too heavy... too sad... every person mentioned above trusts Him (including me).
I'm not sure I feel all that qualified to lump myself in with the precious folks listed above, but I do know I can trust Him at His word when He says He loves us. He's been true to His word too many times before. The One who carried us through the sea on dry ground... who carried us through the Jordan... who brought us into the land covenanted to us before Isaac was a twinkle in his father's eyes... the One who offered the same promise to the Gentiles...He may not purpose to heal us here. I've accepted that possibility. He may not purpose to heal us until we stand firmly planted on the other side of that river. But healing is part of that promise.
Our healing? Yes. But if we trust Him, we trust in something much bigger than that. We trust that so many believing souls are caught up in the stories, carried along, and taken up by the stream into the bigger waters.
Our stories are His. He doesn't need to speak through us, but the humbling thing is, He does it anyway. How many teenagers have come to Christ through the witness of a Christian head football coach battling cancer? How many young people know the gentle guidance of a precious, believing piano teacher who puts 150% into what she does for her students? I know quite a few mothers who hang on and are encouraged by the wisdom and kindness of a darling mama of many who seems to be listening extra carefully as the Spirit whispers into her day-by-days and moment-by-moments.
I found this little poem this morning in a very short devotion time. For some reason, everyone wanted to be up with me at 6:30 this morning. 😊 As I prayed for the folks above, and others... as I prayed for myself, this sweet poem seemed to hold back the shadows.
But as I pray for a hedge to protect my heart and mind from the despair and depression that chronic pain and anxiety can typically bring, I'm instantly reminded of a precious friend in Texas. After over a year and a half of battling cancer, he's received more bad news. Typical for this go-getter, he signed up for the catch-all, guaranteed, brutal treatment. It didn't work.
My heart aches for a vibrant and active friend who is stymied tonight with a broken hip, elbow, and shoulder... an incredibly kind, talented, and helpful friend that, I daresay, will struggle a bit with accepting the help she'll need in the coming months.
Another precious soul is at the center of complete chaos, attempting to grow a budding being as a flurry of other precious souls depend on her for nurture and nourishment. I can't even begin to imagine how she feels right now.
While the struggles are unique, the God who presides over each and every moment of this earth's triumphs and tragedies knows exactly what He's up to. He knows each stone and rivulet these tributaries flow over and through to join His river of life. He's got a plan. And while I struggle to understand... while it all feels too heavy... too sad... every person mentioned above trusts Him (including me).
I'm not sure I feel all that qualified to lump myself in with the precious folks listed above, but I do know I can trust Him at His word when He says He loves us. He's been true to His word too many times before. The One who carried us through the sea on dry ground... who carried us through the Jordan... who brought us into the land covenanted to us before Isaac was a twinkle in his father's eyes... the One who offered the same promise to the Gentiles...He may not purpose to heal us here. I've accepted that possibility. He may not purpose to heal us until we stand firmly planted on the other side of that river. But healing is part of that promise.
Our healing? Yes. But if we trust Him, we trust in something much bigger than that. We trust that so many believing souls are caught up in the stories, carried along, and taken up by the stream into the bigger waters.
Our stories are His. He doesn't need to speak through us, but the humbling thing is, He does it anyway. How many teenagers have come to Christ through the witness of a Christian head football coach battling cancer? How many young people know the gentle guidance of a precious, believing piano teacher who puts 150% into what she does for her students? I know quite a few mothers who hang on and are encouraged by the wisdom and kindness of a darling mama of many who seems to be listening extra carefully as the Spirit whispers into her day-by-days and moment-by-moments.
I found this little poem this morning in a very short devotion time. For some reason, everyone wanted to be up with me at 6:30 this morning. 😊 As I prayed for the folks above, and others... as I prayed for myself, this sweet poem seemed to hold back the shadows.
I have been through the valley of weeping,
The valley of sorrow and pain;
But the "God of all comfort" was with me,
At hand to uphold and sustain.
As the earth needs the clouds and sunshine,
Our souls need both sorrow and joy;
So He places us oft in the furnace,
The dross from the gold to destroy.
When he leads thro' some valley of trouble,
His omnipotent hand we trace;
For the trials and sorrows He sends us,
Are part of His lessons in grace.
Oft we shrink from the purging and pruning,
Forgetting the Husbandman knows
That the deeper the cutting and paring,
The richer the cluster that grows.
Well He knows that affliction is needed;
He has a wise purpose in view,
And in the dark valley He whispers,
"Hereafter Thou'lt know what I do."
As we travel thro' life's shadow'd valley
Fresh springs of His love ever rise;
And we learn that our sorrows and losses,
Are blessings just sent in disguise.
So we'll follow wherever he leadeth,
Let the path be dreary or bright;
For we've proved that our God can give comfort;
Our God can give songs in the night.
~From Streams in the Desert
(Mrs. Charles E. Cowman)
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