Good and Angry + Bitterness

 I am making some serious room in my book bag this week! I finished Good and Angry (Turansky & Miller) tonight. This one has been a life-changer... HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! I got an opportunity to hear both Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller speak at a home school conference in Ft. Worth, Texas almost five years ago. I was able to meet Scott later at his booth down on the exhibition floor. While not the most engaging orators, they have a pure message that doesn't need any angst, comedy, or fluff to make it effective. We're born sinners into a broken world and we have a Guidebook (the Bible) and relationships to help us lead obedient, Godly lives. That message doesn't need any help. I was so moved and learned so much in the first session that I attended a second session hosted by this team later on in the day.

For me it was so helpful to meet Scott.  I can be pretty shy, but when I get excited about a message like this one, I can get assertive. Something about this man's general demeanor is warm, kind, and refreshing. His passion to help point families to abundant lives in Christ is as evident within his person and it is the pages of this book. 

If you go through some of the books on my shelves and actually open them, you might see something like this. The above picture is a side view of my copy of Good and Angry... all the evidence you'd need to know that this book really spoke to me. Growing up in a home with parents who were trying hard to do it right... parenting through a fine mesh of hurt and bitterness brought about through extreme abuse and neglect... they couldn't help but pay forward some of the hurt they lived. No encouragement was forthcoming... little, if any guidance was offered to them.  In fact, they often experienced the opposite of guidance and encouragement. Even still, they worked hard to offer us what they did not receive. This book addresses the root of anger and bitterness that we as parents deal with in our relationships with our children. It also encourages us to keep trying, even when we fail and fall back on old routines and habits that threaten our family relationships.

Within the pages of Good and Angry, sound advice is offered straight from Bible wisdom. At the end of each chapter are Bible passages and object lessons to help your whole family understand the ramifications of anger and bitterness. I used one today before we headed out to our first day of Vacation Bible School. I plan to use one each day at our breakfast devotions this week. While I can't tell you if today's lesson hit home or not, my son did make an exceptionally mature statement on the way home, verifying to me that he is listening and learning, at least in some areas, how to be sensitive to the needs of others. We all still have a lot of work to do. 

Just a couple years ago, I realized that I was not being obedient to God in one of the major points of the Ten Commandments. 

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you." ~Exodus 20:12

It doesn't add, "if they deserve it." I think it took becoming a parent to realize that none of us deserve honor. But we are still required to honor each other, especially our parents, even as adults. I realized then how angry I'd been at my parents. In some areas, I had reason to be angry. My children will have reason to harbor anger and bitterness toward me as well if they don't choose to take to heart the lesson of obedience and forgiveness. 

When I decided to review Good and Angry, this little booklet came to my mind. My sweet friend, Catherine, gave me it to me right after I became a mother. Somehow she detected a deep-seated bitterness in me and a tendency to become easily offended. I learned then that the two are related. I will be forever grateful for her willingness to gently direct me in those areas. It still took me till a couple years ago to get to the end of this little booklet. It was the final two chapters that I needed most, but for some reason, I stopped before I got there. What I found in those chapters mirrored my own heart attitude so completely that it startled me at first. It sent me to my knees first and then to God's Word. While I still get offended occasionally and I still yell at my kids from time to time, things are improving. Good and Angry reinforced the lessons learned through Catherine and this little booklet. 

I'm not exactly sure, but I think Catherine received the booklet from a pastor friend. There may be many of these booklets covering many topics. If you're interested in it, you might be able to receive it from your pastor as a part of his counseling ministry.

Good and Angry in a nutshell (without giving too much away 😃): God created anger. Anger is good. It's a very helpful indicator that something's not quite right. However, anger is never a way to solve a problem, especially in a relationship. While the object lessons and examples mostly deal in parent/child relationships, they can be applied to any area of your life.